Today I open a new chapter in life. One that I am hoping leads to a place of acceptance, peace, joy, love and all the rest of the other cliché things people say they want that brings about serenity. Yet, I am not looking to receive this from anyone. I’ve been very good with shutting people out throughout my life and I have found that I have often lost a piece of myself with doing so. For the ones I didn’t have the obedience and patience to work it through with took pieces of me. So here I am. Broken. With pieces of me scattered here & there. Never having them put together to give me a clear picture of self. Well I’m tired of all that. Fighting the wrong war, the wrong people when the fight has been against myself. I kind of always knew this and worked some things out but not all things. So it’s time to put my efforts in what’s worth fighting for. Me.
Here I sit on my bed. Playing the Musiq Soulchild station on Slacker radio when only 15 minutes before I was dancing around my room and intermittently folding clothes. I know they say when you wash clothes on the 1st day of the year you will wash people out of your life. At this point in my life I can’t waste any days and they say you can’t be a Believer and superstitious so I’ll just stick with being a Believer. Ultimately, He who controls all has a say of who stays and who goes. So back to my dancing around the room. I feel sexy dancing, moving my hips, twisting my head back & forth…slightly getting dizzy…just moving to the beat, bop and flow of music. I tied my shirt up under my breast exposing my non-exercising, 6-year-old baby fat, scarred belly button by a belly button piercing I got in college but took out a long time ago. As I look in my 6’4″ dark ebony wood body mirror I think to myself. Yes, I am sexy. I am woman. I am beautiful. I am growing like a strong tree rooted in spirituality, femininity, legacy, faith, love, acceptance and intellect.
So here starts my chapter. My journey. Come with me as you get wrapped in my branches and fanned by the leaves that grow from my life. Get rooted or fall off as my seasons change. Because this is me. This is JustTree.