It’s hard out here in these streets when trying to date. I can’t say it’s just because I live in Atlanta either. I mean it is a great excuse to use but it’s not the main reason why a lot of my friends and I are single. Honestly, we’re just at the age where we are stuck in our ways and we are less tolerable with things. The deal breaker list hasn’t gotten longer but it has definitely changed up quite a bit. It’s gone from a guy having to be at least 6 ft. to him needing to be at least 5’10 ft. Or he has to have a job with a steady income to he needs an established career and a 401k retirement. These are just examples and of course I am only speaking for myself. One of the things I do not like about dating someone new is going through all the little details. Like what’s your favorite food? What’s your favorite color? Yadda yadda yadda. I’m at the point now where I figure these things will come naturally during a conversation. For instance, if I’m going to cook for someone that’s when I’ll ask them their favorite food. If I’m buying something that has multiple colors that’s when I’ll ask what their favorite color is. That’s if these things don’t come up in a previous conversation with them offering the information. I have heard it can be hard to tell if I’m interested or not and this may be why. I lean towards jumping to the vibe of knowing a person at the 2 or 3 month mark rather than walk on eggs shells and portray my representative. A representative being you at your best and letting things that normally bother you go because you don’t know a person. I like the point where you can say dumb stuff and laugh. You can call whenever you want without feeling like it comes off as if you’re more interested than they are. You don’t have to act like you’re busy when you’re really not. I don’t do this but I’ve had a few guys tell me they do. The point where you know someone well enough to be familiar with what offends them and what doesn’t. You can wear pajamas. Not cute sex pajamas but big, comfy, has a hole in the side pajamas. The one thing I do like when getting to know a guy is the few days where I get juiced about knowing someone new. Sadly,…the juice drains by about 2 weeks for me. It’s horrible and I know it. I get bored, uninterested and it’s incredibly noticeable. Now don’t get me wrong I don’t leave it on these guys to entertain me. I look at myself and how I perceive them. Is this a great guy but I’m just not ready? Has he said something that I’m sensitive about and can’t deal with? If we spent more time together would I see a side I don’t see now? I mean I definitely go through the whys & what ifs.
When I lose interest in a guy I don’t want them touching me. I can’t even imagine them kissing me. This happened to a boyfriend of mine once. I went from being completely into him to barely wanting to hug him. Things had occurred that caused me to act this way however. Nothing revolving cheating but I just was no longer into him and I did not want to be touched by him whatsoever. Then there are those times where I’m just petty like Jerry on Seinfeld. Nope, he flares his nostrils when he talks. Nope, he blinks way too much. Nope, his eyebrows are too close to his eye balls! I know these are extremely double dipped in chocolate shallow but I just can’t deal with them. I try to imagine that if he’s the last guy on earth then would I deal? Or if I’m an old maid and just needed someone’s presence could I deal then? Yet, I’m young and I know I have choices. So I choose to not deal and keep hope alive that I’ll meet my Boaz as they say in church. I would like to have more children so that doesn’t help. But I tell myself once I hit a certain age ain’t no babies popping out of me. Also, if my son gets to old I won’t get married due to the natural ego conflict of him thinking he’s the man of the house. I figure I have until he’s maybe 13 yrs. or 14 yrs. old for that? At the end of the day when I do like someone I kind of go all in. Which sucks too because I’m sure I come off strong. Then when I realize I’m coming off to strong I try to back off. This again probably comes off as if I’m not interested. So I really need to find my balance. Because this is me. This is JustTree.